Poems

poems&PeRcEpTiOn | home

These in no particular order are some of my poems. I've been writing them for the past few years at different levels of my ability to do so. Some of you may find some of them distasteful and maybe a little dark. I just want you to know that they are just expressions of emotion and not to be taken literally. I mean it's not like I'm going to go around with an AK-47 pumping round after round of ammunition at any innocent people I see walking down the street.....right?

Strange eyes and strange lives. You see us, we look just like you. There is something different though. You can see it if you look deep enough; Our eyes tell it all. The things we've seen and what we've heard. We're lost in your world, we don't know our place. Our hearts have been broken by loves lying song and everything we do seems to turn out wrong. We find ourselves always dancing with demons. We find ourselves always changing like the heavens and the seasons. We are the spirit of an age, so at odds with everything that the world seems like a cage. Trying so hard to find a brighter sky, we stumble over life's' rocks and can't figure out why. To truly know us may not be wise. For you have to understand insanity to understand our lives. We know what pain is we've felt it many times before. We feel it like no other creature and we always seem to come back for more.

Dreaming,screaming what was that I saw? A picture flashes in my head like a lingering nightmare. The picture is distorted and when I try to focus on it I feel an old pain as if I were touching a healing wound. What was the picture of? I can't make it out. Why does it make me feel this way? Why do I want to shout? Squinting my minds eye and wanting to cry, the picture becomes clear. Realizing what the picture is I am overcome with fear. It's a picture of something I can not change. A picture I can not rearrange. It will stay with me 'till I wither away like a flower plucked from the ground that gave it life. This image that makes me want to cry, this image that makes me wonder why. This picture that makes me wish I were dead, this picture of the life I have led.

Who is this I see in the mirror? Not I. It's someone dark. Glimmering blue eyes. Evil eyes glowing in the shadows. A mouth filled with yellow teeth, four of which are fangs. A smile spread from ear to ear. A vile grin. Not warm, not welcoming but rather hateful and conniving. This is not me. It's a beast which grows inside. Banging on the cage of my mind. Wanting freedom! Freedom to feed on the pleasures of the body. Wanting desperately to destroy. The beast cares not for the tortured soul fighting it back. Nor care for those the soul loves. It cares only for sin. This beast was made from my mind and a cruel world. It was nourished by hate, envy, lust and pain. I plea to whatever god can hear me. "Let this beast die! Destroy it with love, truth, beauty and knowledge!".....I am answered not. May heaven forgive me when this thing runs wild with me powerless to stop.

I dreamt of flight last night. I flew above the hate and anger. I flew above the sorrow and the hurt. Nothing could touch me, I was one with the sky.

When I looked to heaven I saw your face. For once in forever everything was in its place.

But then I made a grab for infinity. I was burned by the stars and lost my wings, my freedom, my divinity.

Now I lie broken and scared, finding everyday who you really are. A demon with angel eyes. Looking away you ignore my cries.

You stabbed my heart and ravaged my mind. You killed my soul because it was blind.

Insanity, reach deep in to your mind and you'll find it there. Though you won't admit it to your friends or even to me. The evil in your eyes I do see. You can't fucking hide it from me. Why cage it, let it run free. Stop protecting your precious morality.

Hatred, lies and pain; nothing can cleanse the world of these things not even the rain. They are embedded in every human heart. It's the Devils work, he has made it his art.

Why, why can't you see that the world you think you know isn't the true reality?

There is no truth, there is no just. The sword of goodness has begun to rust.

We need human contact to stay alive, it has been proven necessary to survive.

Now isn't that a joke, it's others madness that has driven me to alcohol, weed and coke.

My mind these fuckers did rape, now that I am pissed there is no escape.

The horrors of my heart most could not even dream, but when I rip apart their souls they will know what I mean.

Sitting in a corner alone and afraid. Warmth of an angels touch runs cold on my face. Light wants to break free of my shadow cage. Smoking pot to calm the rage. All I need is human embrace. Between God and I all I feel is space. Emptiness can not begin to describe what I am feeling inside. Looking for someone to show me the way, looking for the colors and only seeing gray. Look to the stars and scream at the moon.

"Where is your light? Where is your light this night?"

Where do you dream? Where have you been? Are you alone? Do you wallow in the snow? Where will you go?

Make up your mind. I can no longer stand behind. But wait for me, we will see what we can see.

Now smoke until you can't smoke. This life is but a joke. Spark that shit up and take another toke.

This is our generation and we are headed straight for damnation.

The love is there, we just don't know how to show we care.

We are the lost and unwanted and sometimes our eyes seem haunted.

If you think you know us you better be sure. The sickness we have there is no cure.

We don't even know if we are real. Corrupting everyone we meet is our deal.

Our hearts are made of fire. Getting high any way we can is our desire.

So meet us at the edge of infinity. We will show you the path to the shroom gods divinity.

The fruit of life has no flavor but add some spice and it is something to savor.

Just one more drink and I'm done. Come on honey, take another shot and then we're done.

Life is short and then you die, so fuck it why don't we all get high? How much does it take before you think you can fly? What does it mean when you feel like you have died?

Are you sure you've made the right choice? Or when you spoke did you use someone else's voice?

Those eyes of yours must not be your own. Couldn't you see how much my love for you had grown?

I hope you have no regrets because I won't be there when your bullshit comes back around. No, I'm not coming back just so you can bring me down. It's so hard to focus when you're always passed out with your face on the ground.

Hate, anger, have I lost my mind? Didn't know there existed rage of this kind.

I wanna pull a knife on everyone I see; fighting this torment inside of me.

Kill the pain with all this crank, shrooms & pot, I've heard enough of this shit will make your brain rot.

Say to myself "What the fuck do I care?" I'll do drugs until all that is left of me is a cold, dead stare.

The soul I had is dead can't you see? I am cold, empty, there ain't a god damn thing inside of me.

Everything I once was now is gone. I have put up with cunts, lies and bullshit for far too long.

The emotions you may see are not even real. My broken heart has forgotten how to feel.

So take my hand and come with me, I'll show you my reality. See if you can deal with the insanity.

Maybe you could but I doubt it. I bet you don't even want to hear about it.

Just watch the steps I take, someone has got to learn from my mistakes.

Might as well be you because it won't be me. I'm gonna die soon, just wait and see.

Why did you lie to me? Can't you see what good friends we could be.

In the beginning I trusted you, looked up to you, even admired you.

But you fucked it up kid, you messed with my head worse than a sheet of acid.

Caught the ins and outs of your lies, all this time wondering why.

You're a party kid I would have liked you, maybe even brotherly loved you. All I wanted was the truth.

Now I say fuck you every time I look at you. Now cock-sucking fagot I can't even stand you. So take your shit and get out before I show you what EMINEM raps about.

I see that devils smile hiding behind the angels mask. That angry soul behind those loving eyes. I see you there, wallowing in the Savage Garden.

Why won't you let me in your mind? Are you afraid of what I might find? Stop living in your lies, stop voicing those pitiful cries.

Stand up on your own two feet and walk down that dark, disturbing street. It's your road of life, take a look and see.

I once was there, but I have learned not to care.

I remember the rain was like acid. I could no longer be calm, no longer be placid. All I could do was feel the pain.

I hate to say it now but it's true, there is no way I can love you.

I should have known a creature like you can not be had. You are simply too hurt, too lost and too sad.

Leave it to me to find out and see just how fucked up life can be. Sometimes I don't even feel like me.

It's like someone else is trying to steal my soul and take my place. Boy I hope that is not the case. But when I drink I wear a different face. Between my heart and mind there is a space.

It runs deep inside and if you look there you will find the darkness trying to hide. When I feel anger the space is open wide.

At this rate, it might be too late. Should I lay down and accept my fate?

I just want it too go away, but I think this beast is here to stay. What if it decides to come out and play?

I am more fucked up than most people think. No, not just when I drink.

There is something wrong up inside my head. If I were any more insane, I would be something to dread.

There is a beast inside of me and it hates everything there is to be. So don't get too close to me. You won't be able to handle my insanity.

My soul is being torn apart by my rage, this evil is too strong to cage.

All I need is love or some help from heaven above.

I plea for these things but I receive none. So with trying to hide it, I am done. There; are you happy now, the beast has won. So when judgment day comes I'll be killing, raping and having all kinds of fun.

But it won't be me, it will be the beast that you see. So watch your ass because when it is free, the beast just might decide it's on your flesh it wants to feed.

Yeah I am weird, yeah I am fucked up.

So what the hell do you want from me? What is it you want me to be? Fuck you and your society. I want my mind to be free. I want you to see this life is simply sugar coated misery.

Don't take my word for it, look deep inside. You'll be amazed at the shit you find and all the bull shit people try to hide. The line of truth isn't that wide. Countless people have lied.

They lie every single day. It is vital to the games they play. There is no other way.

Shattered Dreams

Shattered dreams are made of these, but who am I to intervene. Look deep inside and you will see how fucked up is this reality.

The tragedy is clear; what the fuck am I doing here?

Life is what you make. Why then is everyone so fake?

Why won't they open their mind? Are they really that afraid of what they'll find.

What does it feel like inside your soul? Is it warm or is it cold?

Sometimes I swear that love is empty and hope is gone. I think the devil has almost won.

I can see him sitting on his throne of pain laughing as if Gods time is passing.

I see him saying "Don't even try to pray, it will do no good. How could think it would? So sit back and wait for the end. It is coming faster than you could dream dear friends."


	poems&PeRcEpTiOn \| home Favorite sayings \| The Way I See \| Contact Me \| Other \| Poems \| Poems Too Poems These in no particular order are some of my poems. I've been writing them for the past few years at different levels of my ability to do so. Some of you may find some of them distasteful and maybe a little dark. I just want you to know that they are just expressions of emotion and not to be taken literally. I mean it's not like I'm going to go around with an AK-47 pumping round after round of ammunition at any innocent people I see walking down the street.....right? Strange Eyes Strange eyes and strange lives. You see us, we look just like you. There is something different though. You can see it if you look deep enough; Our eyes tell it all. The things we've seen and what we've heard. We're lost in your world, we don't know our place. Our hearts have been broken by loves lying song and everything we do seems to turn out wrong. We find ourselves always dancing with demons. We find ourselves always changing like the heavens and the seasons. We are the spirit of an age, so at odds with everything that the world seems like a cage. Trying so hard to find a brighter sky, we stumble over life's' rocks and can't figure out why. To truly know us may not be wise. For you have to understand insanity to understand our lives. We know what pain is we've felt it many times before. We feel it like no other creature and we always seem to come back for more. Nightmare Dreaming,screaming what was that I saw? A picture flashes in my head like a lingering nightmare. The picture is distorted and when I try to focus on it I feel an old pain as if I were touching a healing wound. What was the picture of? I can't make it out. Why does it make me feel this way? Why do I want to shout? Squinting my minds eye and wanting to cry, the picture becomes clear. Realizing what the picture is I am overcome with fear. It's a picture of something I can not change. A picture I can not rearrange. It will stay with me 'till I wither away like a flower plucked from the ground that gave it life. This image that makes me want to cry, this image that makes me wonder why. This picture that makes me wish I were dead, this picture of the life I have led. The Beast Who is this I see in the mirror? Not I. It's someone dark. Glimmering blue eyes. Evil eyes glowing in the shadows. A mouth filled with yellow teeth, four of which are fangs. A smile spread from ear to ear. A vile grin. Not warm, not welcoming but rather hateful and conniving. This is not me. It's a beast which grows inside. Banging on the cage of my mind. Wanting freedom! Freedom to feed on the pleasures of the body. Wanting desperately to destroy. The beast cares not for the tortured soul fighting it back. Nor care for those the soul loves. It cares only for sin. This beast was made from my mind and a cruel world. It was nourished by hate, envy, lust and pain. I plea to whatever god can hear me. "Let this beast die! Destroy it with love, truth, beauty and knowledge!".....I am answered not. May heaven forgive me when this thing runs wild with me powerless to stop. Dreamers Flight I dreamt of flight last night. I flew above the hate and anger. I flew above the sorrow and the hurt. Nothing could touch me, I was one with the sky. When I looked to heaven I saw your face. For once in forever everything was in its place. But then I made a grab for infinity. I was burned by the stars and lost my wings, my freedom, my divinity. Now I lie broken and scared, finding everyday who you really are. A demon with angel eyes. Looking away you ignore my cries. You stabbed my heart and ravaged my mind. You killed my soul because it was blind. Losing it Insanity, reach deep in to your mind and you'll find it there. Though you won't admit it to your friends or even to me. The evil in your eyes I do see. You can't fucking hide it from me. Why cage it, let it run free. Stop protecting your precious morality. Hatred, lies and pain; nothing can cleanse the world of these things not even the rain. They are embedded in every human heart. It's the Devils work, he has made it his art. Why, why can't you see that the world you think you know isn't the true reality? There is no truth, there is no just. The sword of goodness has begun to rust. We need human contact to stay alive, it has been proven necessary to survive. Now isn't that a joke, it's others madness that has driven me to alcohol, weed and coke. My mind these fuckers did rape, now that I am pissed there is no escape. The horrors of my heart most could not even dream, but when I rip apart their souls they will know what I mean. Alone Sitting in a corner alone and afraid. Warmth of an angels touch runs cold on my face. Light wants to break free of my shadow cage. Smoking pot to calm the rage. All I need is human embrace. Between God and I all I feel is space. Emptiness can not begin to describe what I am feeling inside. Looking for someone to show me the way, looking for the colors and only seeing gray. Look to the stars and scream at the moon. "Where is your light? Where is your light this night?" Shoie Where do you dream? Where have you been? Are you alone? Do you wallow in the snow? Where will you go? Make up your mind. I can no longer stand behind. But wait for me, we will see what we can see. Now smoke until you can't smoke. This life is but a joke. Spark that shit up and take another toke. This is our generation and we are headed straight for damnation. The love is there, we just don't know how to show we care. We are the lost and unwanted and sometimes our eyes seem haunted. If you think you know us you better be sure. The sickness we have there is no cure. We don't even know if we are real. Corrupting everyone we meet is our deal. Our hearts are made of fire. Getting high any way we can is our desire. So meet us at the edge of infinity. We will show you the path to the shroom gods divinity. The fruit of life has no flavor but add some spice and it is something to savor. Sober Just one more drink and I'm done. Come on honey, take another shot and then we're done. Life is short and then you die, so fuck it why don't we all get high? How much does it take before you think you can fly? What does it mean when you feel like you have died? Are you sure you've made the right choice? Or when you spoke did you use someone else's voice? Those eyes of yours must not be your own. Couldn't you see how much my love for you had grown? I hope you have no regrets because I won't be there when your bullshit comes back around. No, I'm not coming back just so you can bring me down. It's so hard to focus when you're always passed out with your face on the ground. Mad as HELL Hate, anger, have I lost my mind? Didn't know there existed rage of this kind. I wanna pull a knife on everyone I see; fighting this torment inside of me. Kill the pain with all this crank, shrooms & pot, I've heard enough of this shit will make your brain rot. Say to myself "What the fuck do I care?" I'll do drugs until all that is left of me is a cold, dead stare. The soul I had is dead can't you see? I am cold, empty, there ain't a god damn thing inside of me. Everything I once was now is gone. I have put up with cunts, lies and bullshit for far too long. The emotions you may see are not even real. My broken heart has forgotten how to feel. So take my hand and come with me, I'll show you my reality. See if you can deal with the insanity. Maybe you could but I doubt it. I bet you don't even want to hear about it. Just watch the steps I take, someone has got to learn from my mistakes. Might as well be you because it won't be me. I'm gonna die soon, just wait and see. Friends? Why did you lie to me? Can't you see what good friends we could be. In the beginning I trusted you, looked up to you, even admired you. But you fucked it up kid, you messed with my head worse than a sheet of acid. Caught the ins and outs of your lies, all this time wondering why. You're a party kid I would have liked you, maybe even brotherly loved you. All I wanted was the truth. Now I say fuck you every time I look at you. Now cock-sucking fagot I can't even stand you. So take your shit and get out before I show you what EMINEM raps about. Angels Mask I see that devils smile hiding behind the angels mask. That angry soul behind those loving eyes. I see you there, wallowing in the Savage Garden. Why won't you let me in your mind? Are you afraid of what I might find? Stop living in your lies, stop voicing those pitiful cries. Stand up on your own two feet and walk down that dark, disturbing street. It's your road of life, take a look and see. I once was there, but I have learned not to care. I remember the rain was like acid. I could no longer be calm, no longer be placid. All I could do was feel the pain. I hate to say it now but it's true, there is no way I can love you. I should have known a creature like you can not be had. You are simply too hurt, too lost and too sad. Leave it to Me Leave it to me to find out and see just how fucked up life can be. Sometimes I don't even feel like me. It's like someone else is trying to steal my soul and take my place. Boy I hope that is not the case. But when I drink I wear a different face. Between my heart and mind there is a space. It runs deep inside and if you look there you will find the darkness trying to hide. When I feel anger the space is open wide. At this rate, it might be too late. Should I lay down and accept my fate? I just want it too go away, but I think this beast is here to stay. What if it decides to come out and play? Fucked Up I am more fucked up than most people think. No, not just when I drink. There is something wrong up inside my head. If I were any more insane, I would be something to dread. There is a beast inside of me and it hates everything there is to be. So don't get too close to me. You won't be able to handle my insanity. My soul is being torn apart by my rage, this evil is too strong to cage. All I need is love or some help from heaven above. I plea for these things but I receive none. So with trying to hide it, I am done. There; are you happy now, the beast has won. So when judgment day comes I'll be killing, raping and having all kinds of fun. But it won't be me, it will be the beast that you see. So watch your ass because when it is free, the beast just might decide it's on your flesh it wants to feed. What!? Yeah I am weird, yeah I am fucked up. So what the hell do you want from me? What is it you want me to be? Fuck you and your society. I want my mind to be free. I want you to see this life is simply sugar coated misery. Don't take my word for it, look deep inside. You'll be amazed at the shit you find and all the bull shit people try to hide. The line of truth isn't that wide. Countless people have lied. They lie every single day. It is vital to the games they play. There is no other way. Shattered Dreams Shattered dreams are made of these, but who am I to intervene. Look deep inside and you will see how fucked up is this reality. The tragedy is clear; what the fuck am I doing here? Life is what you make. Why then is everyone so fake? Why won't they open their mind? Are they really that afraid of what they'll find. What does it feel like inside your soul? Is it warm or is it cold? Sometimes I swear that love is empty and hope is gone. I think the devil has almost won. I can see him sitting on his throne of pain laughing as if Gods time is passing. I see him saying "Don't even try to pray, it will do no good. How could think it would? So sit back and wait for the end. It is coming faster than you could dream dear friends."